Born May 1927′, 1st remembered hurt–rejection, about age 4. Never ever heard a word of approval from my Father, He died age 101 in 2000. I was kind of blind,of course he approved. I and my husband were the only family members he trusted. I was born again in 1945, Nurses training 1946-49. Went to Bible Collage 1951-54.At that time the emphasis was on the Victorious Christian Life.It was preached and taught , I longed for it but never saw an example.I worked, tried to live a Christian life not very successfully. Was married in 1965, age38, to a wonderful Christian man who put up with me for over 50 years. In 2001 we moved to a new province, a new church. There I began to learn and to see how emotionally damaged we, George, my husband and I both were. I had suffered from depression most of my adult life and George had suffered from fear all his life, afraid of life, of his mother and became afraid of me and eventually of our daughter. About 2007 we were told about a Healing of the Heart Ministery headed by John Regier in Colorado. We got an appointment locally in Ontario. I, being the most verbal and the most open, acknowledged my need and saw and admitted my need. It has been a slow change but a very noticeable change. I reallised that my husband to had rejected me all our 50 years together. He treated me like his mother and could not see it. when she spoke he jumped and was afraid to stop. I began to learn about Jesus , He began to heal, I began to love,to forgive, to hurt in a different way, the anger, impatience,criticism, came under the Blood, the depression was healed, Christ was alive,talking to me,I was never alone, He spoke to me every morning, I feel his prescence always, and His love. Then 2 weeks ago I clicked on an unknown name, to me, Dan Molher and he was talking about what I had been learning. I had been wondering as I healed, about this “power” that is promised to us in the scriptures but I saw no evidence of it in any Christian I knew. When I asked about it I got a definition, but? I have listened to no one else on youtube, not even Spurgeon. I have feared Pentacostalism all my life. I know God heals, I know some can speak in tongues, but not without an interpreter, and I question why anyone would pray in tongues. When I don’t know what or how to pray I give it to the Holy Spirit because He knows. I understand about the love of Christ and putting on His love and being born again and a new life and getting rid of self..In my old age I am finally .finding what I knew was there, ever since the 50s, but never saw it expressed. NO one in my church would understand, I have noone to talk to , But I know it is real God has been telling me so for over 60 years, and I am afraid of Pentacostal theology because it is not scriptural. I seek TRUTH. I am a strong, active, healthy 91 year old, with a strong feeling God is going to keep me here for many more years But I do not want to be here if I am not showing the truth , or somehow serving the Lord. I know I sound confused, I’m not, I have recently been tested and I am still learning, I must learn. I am asking for help in understanding… excuse the spelling. Katie [email protected].